Super Awesome Mega Fun Mission #1: Go Vegan!

As is often the case with these things, the idea of becoming vegan appeared somewhere around my second old fashioned.

Basically, Kiri and I were looking for a new creative outlet and felt like becoming vegans would be the perfect way to inject some excitement into our week. From there, the concept grew into something more substantial. I can't speak for Kiri, (I don't have that power...yet) but I've come to see this blog as a place for us to challenge ourselves and try new things. Of course, if we have the time, we'll document our social experiments so that the public can delight in our mishaps. Most likely, no one will be paying attention, which is fine. However, if you happen upon this modest page, please leave a comment, because your attention will nurture us, allowing our egos to grow big and strong.

Quick confession: I don't know what the fuck a vegan is. According to my friend wikipedia, veganism is: "a diet and lifestyle that seeks to exclude the use of animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose." I really like my clothes, so for the purposes of this experiment, we'll limit our vegan definition to our eating choices. The experiment will last a seven-day week starting today and ending next monday.

I'm not going to lie... this shit is going to be crazy difficult for me because I eat animal every day. When I'm not eating a charred animal, I am thinking about eating a charred animal. At night when I sleep, I dream only of dead things and how I can cook and eat them. To commit to something like this, if even only for a week, is something of a personal nightmare come to life, especially since I actively make fun of vegans and am known to convert vegans into vicious, meat craving zombies. This week will be the ultimate test. But I am strong and confident that my strength will see me through.

Well, I'm off to the market to buy my first vegan meal. Kiri sent me this handy guide, and I'm going to follow it the best I can as I hit up the vegan section of my local Key Foods. Pray for me. I suspect I'll have to kill a pig on the way there, just to bring the universe into balance.